


another ending

by sciencebluefeelings



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencebluefeelings/pseuds/sciencebluefeelings
Summary: Spock Prime comforts Jim after Jim reencounters a familiar individual.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Prime
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	another ending

Spock froze halfway through the motion of picking up his teapot. He sensed a sharp spike of distress through the bond and knew with certainty that Jim was about to contact him.

He placed his hand on the video communicator 2.4 seconds before it lit up. Spock received the call. “ _Ashaya_ ,” he said.

His greeting faltered as he took in the extent of Jim’s distress. The young captain’s breathing was forced, as if it was requiring all of his concentration to keep it steady. He was alone in his quarters and the light of the comm was the only thing illuminating his face. The familiar sight in such different circumstances added to Spock’s growing unease. Jim still had not said anything. Spock waited.

Finally Jim spoke, voice clear and quick as if a moment of hesitation would allow fear to conquer him into silence. “I’ve declared myself emotionally compromised. We’re heading to Romulus right now.” 

Spock’s grip on the comm tightened. 

“I’ll be at your home in six hours.” Jim’s breath trembled, as if anxious he was overstepping his boundaries despite being Spock’s bondmate. “I’m sorry for such a short notice.”

The fear and grief leaking through the bond was growing. Jim wasn’t making eye contact. Spock yearned to reach and touch Jim’s trembling body, pull him close and shield him from further destruction. But all Spock could do was project thoughts of safety and comfort, _warmth and desire you are my beloved always_ \- “Jim,” Spock said softly. He sent a pulse of encouragement through their bond. “I look forward to having you in my arms once more.”

Spock could not help frowning from the sudden surge of acute self-loathing from Jim's side of the bond. Jim shook his head roughly. “Sorry, I'm sorry.”

“There is nothing to apologise for, my dearest one.”

“It’s just - there was - _fucking hell_.” Spock was helpless to do anything through the comm screen as Jim bit his lip, quelling tears threatening to spill over. “Spock. I’m so _fucking scared_ but I don’t want anyone to see their captain like this.” Jim squeezed his eyes shut.

Spock touched the comm screen. “What can I do, Jim? Tell me what you need. Anything at all.”

“Just - stay with me? Please.” Jim curled up on top of his bed. “Don't hang up. You don't have to do anything. I just need to know you're there.” Jim paused. “Is that okay?”

“Oh, my love.” He always asked for so little, and asked as if it were a great favor being granted to him.

 _I’m being a burden_ , whispered the bond.

“Never,” Spock said firmly. “Rest, Jim. I promise I am not going anywhere.”

For a while, the only sound filling the air were Jim's shuddering breaths. His breathing slowed gradually. Spock watched in shallow meditation. Jim finally opened his eyes, his voice rough. “Thank you, Spock.” He hesitated. 

Clearly the young captain was still reluctant to disconnect. Spock said warmly, “You do not need to hang up, Jim.”

It appeared the right thing to say. Jim’s tension dissipated, and a soft smile touched his lips once more. Spock could still feel his turmoil and aching desire that belied his expression through their bond. Jim checked something on his comm. “Five hours, thirty-eight minutes until we reach Romulus.”

Spock picked the teapot back up with his free hand, and began to count down the seconds in his mind before he would see Jim once more.

*

Spock spotted him among the bring uniforms of the _Enterprise_ crew disembarking to the planet’s surface. Jim was wearing his sunglasses with his duffel bag slung over one shoulder. He looked startled to see Spock waiting at the starport for him. He stepped forward with squared shoulders and took Spock’s hand. The bond came to life between them, vibrant and thrumming with energy.

Spock immediately led Jim away from the eyes of his crew, out of the starport to the parking lot, ignoring the glances from other Vulcans at the easy contact between them.

Spock had parked some distance from the port, to provide some privacy for their reunion. “Would you like to drive?” Spock offered. Jim nodded, so Spock opened the hovercar door for Jim and went to the passenger’s side. 

Spock buckled the seatbelt and turned to see Jim’s face right in front of his, his body leaned over the space between them. The stoic mask protecting those vulnerable, painful emotions was gone. Spock smoothed his hand behind Jim’s neck and leaned into a lingering press of lips. Jim whimpered from the touch, pressing further into Spock.

Spock did not know how much time had passed before Jim broke away and turned the car on. “Let’s go home.” Jim backed the car out with care and navigated to the exit. He kept his hand clenched around Spock’s, and the pressure was almost uncomfortable. Spock felt the unease pulse from Jim, and wondered what had occurred to warrant such distress. He would not ask. He already knew Jim would reveal in his own time, when he was ready.

Jim’s mood brightened marginally when they finally pulled up at Spock’s driveway. He refused to allow Spock to carry in his duffel bag, and they entered the house together. The smell of freshly baked bread filled the air. 

“I have prepared dinner in advance.” Spock guided Jim to the kitchen table and brought utensils and a glass of water.

Jim watched Spock carefully bring a heavy pot of stew, Jim’s favorite Vulcan dish. “Can I do anything to help, love?”

“Stay seated and eat,” Spock ordered. “Rest. Let me know if you require any extra seasonings.”

Jim shook his head with a helpless smile and picked up his spoon to taste the stew. He hummed. “It’s so good. I’m sorry. I won’t eat that much, I’m not that hungry.”

“Your friends contacted me, Jim. They are worried about you. Doctor McCoy has informed me that you have not eaten anything within the last seventy hours. You require some sustenance or you will collapse.” Spock pushed Jim’s serving bowl a little closer towards him. “Eat as much as you can manage.”

Jim only ate about half a bowl, but Spock was relieved. He had been expecting Jim to eat much less. Jim finished by drinking all of his water, and he watched Spock finish his own meal.

Spock put down his spoon and was about to stand to clear the dishes when Jim firmly pulled him back down. He buried his face into Spock’s shoulder, holding him there. Spock inhaled his faint scent, stroking his hand up Jim’s back. 

Jim spoke quietly into Spock’s neck. “My counterpart - do you know if he was ever related to a man named Frank?”

Spock hesitated. “Not that I was aware of. Why do you ask?”

Jim exhaled. “Just asking.” He stood up. “Can we go to bed?”

Spock silently acquiesced, and Jim and Spock cleared the dishes before going to the bedroom. Spock could sense Jim wanted to shower alone, and told Jim to use his bathroom while Spock used the guest shower on the floor below.

When Spock returned to his bedroom, the lights were dimmed. Jim was already on the bed, half-clothed and resting his head on the pillow. His hair was still damp. His fingers played with the blanket covers, alternatively grasping and smoothing the fabric.

Spock settled under the covers next to Jim, who let go of the blanket to pull Spock to his chest. A light meld flowed easily between them from all the skin to skin contact. The pressure of Jim's mind was alarming. It was unquestionable that whatever Jim had gone through was a traumatizing experience.

“We already know there’s a lot of differences between my childhood and the childhood of my counterpart from your reality,” Jim said.

“Yes,” Spock said cautiously.

Jim wrapped his arms around Spock. “I’ve never known my father, and Win- my mother was never home. She made my uncle take care of me.”

“This is the individual Frank that you have mentioned before?” Spock felt confirmation through their bond. “The Winona of my universe had no brother or brother-in-law that I know of. What sort of individual was he?”

“Um. He drank a lot. And hit me. And - and he did a lot of other things. . .” Jim’s voice trailed off.

Spock desperately quelled the flood of emotions surging within him, not wanting to overwhelm his bondmate. “You are not obligated to tell me anything,” he said.

Jim nuzzled Spock’s ear. “You’re not obligated to listen. I’m telling you because I trust you. I want you to understand.” Jim was silent for a moment again. “It was easy for Frank to take advantage of me and my older brother, he was so much stronger than us. My older brother ran away eventually, leaving me all alone. I don’t know if Frank touched him in that way too, but - you never asked me why I’ll only have non-penetrative sex. That’s the reason why.”

Fear suddenly shot through Spock, and he could not tell how much of it was his own and how much was Jim’s. “You have encountered him recently?”

Jim huffed out a laugh. “Yeah.” Jim’s hands slid to rest over Spock’s heart, and his voice became scathing. “Yeah. He had the nerve to show his face again. The _Enterprise_ was restocking at a Starbase, and he came to visit with my mom.” Jim’s voice cracked. “I had to give them a tour of my ship and pretend like nothing was wrong. God.”

Spock had to physically monitor his breathing. “Did you ever tell anyone? Can no legal actions be taken against him?”

“I never did. The statute of limitations for the state we lived in ran out this year, so he probably can’t be prosecuted for what he’s done to me. And - and I think he knows that too.” Spock turned to embrace Jim, and Jim went willingly, his hands restless as they touched Spock, feeling the thrum of their bond. “I couldn’t focus after that day, Spock - knowing he’d been in my safe space, sleeping in it, touching my ship with that body?”

Jim’s hands went still. An image flashes through Jim’s mind, sitting in his captain’s chair, repulsed, restless, knowing Frank had leaned over the back of that same chair to peer at the controls, and Jim leaps up before Frank can put his hand on Jim’s shoulder. The bridge crew stares at him, and Jim sits back down, humiliated. There’s no one there. Winona and Frank had disembarked two days ago. Regardless, Jim wants to crawl out of his own skin from the memories, both old and recently acquired.

Jim’s voice was small. “All I could think was that he didn’t know about you, or this home. I had to come back to you.”

“Oh, Jim.” Spock pressed a kiss to Jim’s forehead, then the corner of his mouth. Despite the hardships and abuse, his bondmate was still so bright. The way he bared his soul was beautiful and Spock cherished it.

“Fuck, Spock.” Control lost, Jim was beginning to hyperventilate. “I don't know what I was thinking - I couldn't stop thinking about how I'd have to tell you eventually. I was afraid of how you'd respond, I thought you’d be - _disgusted_ or something, I don’t - I -”

Spock’s eyes were closed as Jim lavished kisses over his face, down to his vulnerable neck. “Never, my love. Are there any others aware of what you have endured?”

Jim was silent.

Spock ran a hand through Jim’s hair. “Your closest friends would not think any less of you, you know that.”

“Maybe. But they'd start acting differently around me, and I don't want that to happen.”

Spock had no response to that. 

Jim shyly tugged at Spock’s hand. “Do you think you could - ?”

“Yes.” Spock kissed Jim and adjusted his hand over Jim’s meld points. “Sleep now, my love.”

“I want you there with me,” Jim mumbled. “Please.”

“Of course, Jim.” Spock gingerly cleared Jim’s mind, replacing the turbulence with peaceful drowsiness, and eased Jim into unconsciousness.

Spock joined him in the startlingly clear dreamscape. The setting was identical to Spock’s bedroom where they were sleeping in, but the sky outside was lighter and all physical aches and tiredness were nonexistent.

Jim kissed Spock as he removed his loose robe, and Spock followed his bondmate’s lead willingly as their bare bodies pressed intimately against each other, mingling until their pleasures were shared as one.

*

Spock woke to see Jim sitting up, looking at his comm. His features were arranged in a blank mask. 

Spock inched closer. “Jim? What is it?” 

Jim took a shuddering breath and held up the comm screen towards him. Spock’s heart stuttered to see a message from Frank, relatively innocuous, thanking him for the tour of the _Enterprise_ with Winona, but the undertones of the words were like the blare of a red alert.

“Block him,” Spock said. “Immediately.”

Spock watched Jim block the number. “He could just get another phone,” Jim whispered. “Or come find me again.”

Spock pulled Jim into a gentle kiss. “Then you can obtain another number. You are safe here with me, Jim. And it is not my place to share your history, but regardless of whether you tell your crew, I know they will protect you.”

“God, they don’t deserve that. What if - something happens to them because of me?”

“You are always the one protecting, Jim. Allow yourself to be cared for this once.” Spock eased out of bed to go to the bathroom. “What would you like for breakfast?”

Jim hummed. “I’d rather just cuddle with you.”

“Food first, my love. The temperature will be optimal today, would you like to eat outside on the patio couch?”

“Perfect. I can cuddle you and eat at the same time, then.”

Spock smiled fondly at Jim’s quirked lips. “So long as you do not spill the food as you did with the sorbet.”

“Mmmm, you know I just wanted to lick it off your bare thighs.” Jim stuck out his tongue, a pulse of desire sparking through the bond. “Got any more of that sorbet?”

Spock chuckled as Jim wrapped him in an abrupt hug. “Perhaps. But food first.”

“God, such a mother hen. You’re so cute.”

They finally ate together sitting on the patio couch before sharing a small cup of sorbet. Every time Spock offered a spoonful of sorbet, Jim kissed Spock before taking the offered sorbet between his lips. The unease wasn’t completely gone, but Spock could feel Jim’s solidified resolve, built from Spock’s gentle encouragement and trust. 

This entire time, Spock had kept his own worry behind careful mental walls. Much of him desired to keep Jim close, prevent him from leaving and going back into the dangers that existed beyond the walls of his house, often out of reach of communication. Even with a powerful Vulcan bond, Jim was often difficult to reach. However, Spock had to be supportive. That was his role. And Jim’s place was among the stars, as it was in Spock’s reality before.

“You could ask me to stay,” Jim whispered, bringing Spock out of his thoughts. Jim fiddled with the empty cup before placing it aside. “You know that.”

“I could not ask such a selfish thing of you.”

“I know.” Jim snuggled further into Spock, rubbing a thumb over Spock’s heart. “I don’t know if I’d want you to, either.”

Spock closed his eyes, memorizing the weight of Jim against his side. He would not lose the precious time now thinking of the concerns of the future any longer.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed the hurt/comfort aspect of this story, [you might like this 'sickfic' about Jim helping Ambassador Spock though a difficult situation after a diplomat conference gone wrong (Rating is M)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20810759)


End file.
